Oh Very Young...

In the fall of 2005 I was called to be a young men’s leader in our congregation. I would be working with the 12 and 13 year old boys. I had just gotten married and was actually experiencing my first few months back in what Mormons call a “family ward.” In Mormondum there are special congregations for young adults called “Student” or “Singles” wards. I had been attending these wards for about seven years so worshipping with a relative demographic cross section was a very new, but very refreshing experience. It is funny to think back at how intimidated I was by these early adolescent whipper-snappers. I just remember feeling so out of touch and nervous to teach them, nervous that we wouldn’t connect in any way. It’s hard to remember what the other reasons were that I was nervous, but suffice it to say, I felt very incapable The next few years were a lesson in patience, in understanding, in simplifying and in remembering what it’s like to be a teenager. Perhaps it’s an indictment on my maturity that I very quickly adjusted, and very quickly found the task to be a ton of fun. I don’t know that I could fully characterize what being a youth leader for these seven years has taught me, but there is no doubt that I am a different person through this experience. My first new deacon (12 year old) was so…very… young. I remember before one campout, an older boy said to this new deacon: “You’re not going to cry for your mommy are you?” I’ll never forget his thoroughly contemplated and completely genuine answer of “Maybe.” There are few greater changes in life than those between 12 years old and 18 years old. You can literally watch these boys go from insecure, short, sometimes lanky, sometimes pudgy, sometimes awkward, sometimes way too cool, boys to mature young adults. It’s absolutely thrilling and utterly satisfying. My first brand new deacon (12) is 19 now. Several of the young men I worked with are on LDS missions and some are even married! Some of the boys had real struggles. Frequently over the last seven years I have laid in bed thinking about one of them… wondering how to help, wondering how they’re doing. I have lost touch with some, but have remained close with many of them. Until recently Annie and I were the young childless couple in our congregation. We spent some significant time in that phase. As such we were frequently called upon to perform this or that act of service or duty. I viewed our family starting challenges as a unique opportunity to provide much needed help where we genuinely could provide it. I am thankful for that blessing. For years, and even through graduate school, this absence of other distractions allowed me to step up to the plate and be there for the young men that I was serving. This continued at full force until recently when the blessing of our own family became an ever increasing distraction (for better and worse). There was never a shortage of love and concern… just a shortage of attention and time. I have been asked to perform another duty in our congregation. My reaction is mixed. There is some relief that I can provide added assistance to my own family, and relief that these boys that I care deeply about will have the opportunity for increased attention (which they need), but there is also a significant feeling of impending loss. Every Wednesday or Thursday night for what feels like my entire adult life, has been spent with these boys. It’s really second nature. I will miss almost everything about it. I will miss that splendidly odd teenage boy sense of humor, I will miss chaperoning awkward dances, I will so greatly miss often being in wild places with these boys, sharing personal thoughts around a campfire, hearing a young men share honest feelings for the first time, receiving a rare and heart-felt thank you from a 13 year old, watching a nervous boy conduct a court of honor, seeing the boys help one another and being a close friend to these guys. There are a few things I will not miss… but they don’t merit mention here. Here is to the amazing young people around us! And ongoing opportunities to make them a part of my life.