Monday, January 21, 2013

Ok, This is one of those dangerous posts that represents the alignment of several factors: The moment where I find myself much fatigued by the staleness of my blog and the previous post :) and the ever-rare moment where I find myself with a moment to write. The danger lies in having no clear direction or objective to my post. I sense confusion in some readers: "you mean your other posts had direction and objective?" Well.. sometimes, but many were the result of the phenomena described above.
What to write about?... hmmm... well here is something that is occupying brainspace tonight. Henry's hair has contracted a terminal condition.. its called "Mommy's waning patiencitis."  There is no clear cure. I am in a certain state of denial. I have noted the looks, I have heard the subtle (and less subtle) commentary. I am aware that my son is in territory akin to running around with scissors, or dancing on a table, or running in a cul-de-sac... (all of which Henry has done recently.. and if there was a table in the cul-de-sac he surely, at some point, would have done all of them at once). Even the "cool" parents are starting to look at me like "seriously Jake.. get this under control..."
Why the long hair Jake?.. whats this all about? Well, maybe its my way of joining in in that universal parental exercise of projecting onto and through our children. Recently I provided my wife with a tactless sidenote about her effort to throw our kids a last minute two-year birthday party. I tried to remind her that the party she felt compelled to throw the kids (for their sake) was almost certainly 95% for her. She needed to know that she hadn't failed them, she needed to show them the picture twenty years from now, she needed her friends to see that she had it together.  True or not, I think there is no denying that the things we do under the banner of "for the children" are often as much for us. So my version of that may be Henry walking around in the likeness of a member of the Doobie Brothers. Yes, Daddy is a professional, Daddy needs to look respectable-ish... but deep down inside, Daddy wants his flowing mane to sway back and forth as he wales out the lead line on Bread's "Guitar Man." There IS something satisfying about it. Henry may be my pressure valve for grown-up anxiety, for the frustration that recognizing that conforming is a net positive evokes...
Do I fear that Henry is going to look like a dork with his haircut? Yes... yes I do. But, its a healthy exercise to keep this "projection" business in check right? Perhaps less hypocrisy on my part can ease the burden of my tactless sidenotes if nothing else :)


Daniel and Angie Callister said...

Great post. There is something liberating about having lots of hair, and I feel qualified to make that comment. I know when Andrew Callister finally got his hair cut, it aged him by at least 3 years instantly! -Dan

Deborah and Stephen said...

oh man, I do have brothers that all had the flowing mane. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post.

ps. Henry looks great with his haircut, but I was one that liked his long flowing locks as well

Rebekah said...

Everywhere I turn, the boys have flowing hair. Perhaps there is a common feeling among many in "our generation".
*I can't find my "Anthology of Bread" CD, need to get those songs downloaded--too great!

Indeed most of what we do, outwardly, for our children has much more to do with its reflection on us than anything to do with them.
Case-in-point, Eli is growing at a most alarming rate. He has been passing the sacrament in a suit that is just too small for quite a few weeks now. This week David and I discussed it once more. No, we don't want him to be embarrassed, BUT, more importantly, we were looking like those sad parents who are just too overwhelmed to pay attention to this good (but, because of us, slightly awkward-looking) boy.
Well, that was it. He got a new suit yesterday!!
*in our defense, his last suit wasn't actually purchased all that long ago, and all three of us hate this kind of shopping--it is hard to keep up with these things!! :)

Lizzie said...

Love your post jake - but for the record I think that 2nd birthday parties are important.. just saying:)