September 11th 2001: Logan, Utah. I was just stirring very early to get ready for my morning run when our neighbor Jana Deitlein (sister to my roommate Quin) came over and told us to hurry and turn on the news. At this point only one plane had hit one tower. I cannot recall my first thoughts. It is not uncommon that you get up in the morning and see bad, even horrible news, and I am sure I perceived this on that level at first. Within a few minutes of being up, the second tower was hit. My reaction to this occurrence is something that is very vivid in my memory. My experience escalated from the feeling you get when something horrible HAS happened (the way we experience most news) to when something horrible is HAPPENING, obviously two very different sensations. There were very audible and genuine gasps from people in the room when this second impact became clear, a sort of "pinch me, is this really happening?" sensation. I was very scared. In hindsight you can think through the timeline of that day and put some boundaries on the horror that took place, but at that time you were left with the most trusted anchormen, politicians and emergency professionals scrambling to figure out what in the world was happening (and happening next).
For the rest of the morning a crowd gathered at our apartment, people were woken up and quickly debriefed. It is so funny to think of it now, but people were stressing because they had to slip away so that they could get to class. Awful as it was the magnitude had not really set in.
After not too long we watched in COMPLETE astonishment as the first tower fell. Again, gasps and shouting, some crying. We were more numbed but equally astonished when the second tower came down. Obviously reports of the Pentagon strike and other planes out of contact were just adding to the hysteria. I remember having a moment of panic remembering that my parents had been in Connecticut to see my sister and were coming home sometime soon. I was able to get in touch with them. They were safe (had either already made it home, or had their flight cancelled, I can't remember).
Again, rather ridiculously (in hind-sight), I myself went to my afternoon class that day. Campus was a ghost town, people were walking around like zombies. It seemed so inappropriate to even smile at anyone else.
On September 11, 2001, we all lost a bit of our innocence. So many things we had unquestioned faith in (our safety, other humans, our naive world views) were completely undercut. What a significant date. How often do you catch yourself thinking in terms of pre and post 9/11? If something happened in 1999..I have to try to remember how I used to think about things before September 2001.
TEN years have passed. I have regained some faith, but who doesn't shutter a bit at the sound of the words Nine Eleven. Its like the reminder of the innocence that won't be regained. Ten years has allowed us to characterize much of the ignorance and hatred that led to that event. This helps us isolate the threat more effectively, thanks heavens. These ten years are a long ways from the boundless fear, uncertainty and sorrow of that morning.
Today I remember the countless acts of selflessness, of prayers offered, of a quarter million ENDLESSLY DIVERSE Americans melded firmly together in a solidarity of loss and shared concern. I think of how we recovered, how we will always recover. How the wrong shall fail and the right prevail.
Today my thoughts and prayers are with ALL who suffered senselessly in any degree on 9/11/2001.
Please feel free to share your 9/11 experience/memory if you are so inclined.
3 comments:
I just watched a special on pbs about 9 11 and faith. it was really intense. It is crazy to look at something so huge and life changing through the lense of religious belief and faith in God. I felt kinda empty after watching the documentary. though there were many who clung to faith and let the experience bring them closer to God, i felt that i understood why so many others have had big problems regaining faith and seeing god the same way they did before.
It's interesting how our age gaps come out in past events like this. I was in 7th grade in 2001. I was at school all day and can remember the teachers letting us know what was happening. They told us not to worry and tried to shelter us from the magnitude of what was really happening. After school that day and for the next several days I was glued to the tv watching the news (something I had almost never done before). I felt a sense of patriotism then, as a 12 year old, that I have almost never felt since.
Jake, I remember that day so clearly. I think part of my disbelief that it has been ten whole years is my crystal clear recollection of that day. My dad called me early. He was crying. He said that two planes had hit the world trade center and asked if I would please pray for my cousin Joe who worked in the North Tower. After hanging up with him, I was telling someone that my dad had called and said two planes hit the trade center, and then I said, "no, that can't be right. Two planes? It must have been one plane." I changed his story because I thought it was so unbelievable.
I was one of the crowd in your apartment that day. We didn't have a TV so we came to your place to watch. I was one of the ones who screamed as the tower collapsed. I literally could not believe it would fall down like that, and I remember the neighboring tower swaying when the first one fell.
My cousin Joe's wife Suzanne said that Joe was running late for work that day and he may not have been there when it happened. We all clung to that hope desperately. I don't know if many people remember this, but there was serious hope for survivors. Pictures of missing loved ones were posted and we were all waiting to hear news. It didn't really sink in for a couple of weeks that no one survived. I kept telling people, we don't know yet, we haven't heard yet... It seems crazy now to think we believed anyone could have survived that collapse.
The scope of it was personal, and also national. I remember being in what felt like a daze for the next several weeks.
When we flew back to NY for the funeral, the security lines at the airport were INSANE! They bent the nail file on my clippers back and forth until it broke off. How ridiculous! The hotel we stayed had an alarm go off in the middle of the night and we were evacuated. It ended up being nothing, but everyone there was just on pins and needles.
Joe was my favorite cousin. I only have 8 total on both sides. It is a small family, especially compared to families in Utah. I remember playing badminton with him and flying kites. I miss him and wish I knew him now as an adult. My only memories are playing with him as a child.
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